Hey you..Control your anger !!

Folks, Life is full of meeting unwelcome people and facing unwanted and annoying circumstances. As such, even the calmest of person would agree having faced a situation, when he/she lost temper and experienced an anger outburst. While some psychologists may claim that anger outburst is a good way to give an outlet to the negative energies, most of you would agree that more than often, it makes us land up in embarrassing position. Controlling temper is the first step to ensure reduced stress levels and improved relationships. Just when you feel that you would be gripped in temper tantrum, resort to any of the following ways listed below and relieve yourself from the anger outbursts. The techniques, explained in the following lines, would help you know how to control anger outbursts.

Ways For Controlling Anger Outbursts 


Deep Breathing
Though you might have heard it a number a times, deep breathing, undoubtedly, is one of the most beneficial ways to avoid anger outburst. It helps soothe your negative energies and provides a relaxing and calming feeling. Many people have claimed that anger outbursts are best dealt with this technique. No matter what is the intensity of your anger, all you need to do is just close your eyes, relax your mind and take a deep breath. A sixty second indulgence in this technique and swoosh - your anger would be heavily subsided.


Tune To Music

Did you know that music has healing properties? If no, then you are definitely in for a revelation. Music goes a long way in dipping the rising anger levels, thereby cooling both the mind and the body. Just when you think that you might get trapped into a pool of bad mood and anger; switch on the music system and listen to some of your favorite songs. This way you would instantly dip your anger or rage and get back to the normal state of mind. 

Meditation & Yoga

Experts have claimed the benefits of meditation and yoga for the mind, soul and the body. However, did you know that by indulging in regular meditation or yoga, you might be able to control your anger outbursts as well? Meditation and yoga have positive effect on the mental and physical being of a person. Also, regular indulgence in the two ensures better mind control, thereby helping in anger management.

Energy Conversion

Does this sound physics or mathematics to you? Well, do not get scared as herein, energy conversion is the phrase given to convert the negative energies produced by anger into positive driving force. There are two ways to use the energy created by anger - you can either use it negatively or make it as a stepping stone to overcome the stimulus that caused anger in the first place. This way you can curb the anger outburst  and at the same time conquer your flaws.

Believe in FLOW

This might seem French to you, but using the FLOW technique is the best way to deal with anger outbursts. For this, you need to first ‘Focus’ at your mental state. Tell yourself that you would not explode your anger. Repeat this for several times until the message has sunk deep into your mind. Once this is done, go onto the next level, i.e. ‘Listen’. Anger mostly arises due to conflict or disagreement. So, the next step would be to listen to the other’s point of view and try to rationalize it.

 

Next step would be to act ‘Objectively’. When we are angry, we mostly take things or arguments personally. Instead, think objectively as this will help you understand the situation in a mature way. The last step would be to ‘Wait’ for the right time. Most people would agree that instant reaction is the main problem for anger management. You should wait and reflect for sometime about the consequences of angry outburst. Waiting is the best indicator for anger management.

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Discover Yourself

You’re only a drop in the ocean but every drop counts. However, unlike tiny water drops, we as respectful individuals are unique beings in so many diverse aspects. To be yourself, you need to discover yourself ! By impersonating the latest movie star or the most popular kid in school, you are being a disgrace to none another than yourself. When you find yourself and learn to be yourself, one fine day you will fall madly in love with yourself and then, nobody in the whole world can ever let you down. Remember how miserable you felt while sporting that mini skirt at the high school ball? All you wanted was to jump into your track pants and play football with the boys. Yes, you’re not just another sheep in the flock! You’re the rainbow colored one that stands out in the crowd! On seeing somebody else prosper and triumph in all, we assume that by emulating him, we are paving our way to success! One may say that a mask of gold hides all deformities but do note that no mask remains! The façade will soon be revealed. So don’t waste your time masquerading as strangers when we can invest the given time in developing a pure and genuine personality. 

Tips For Being Yourself

So you might be compelled to conform to societal or esoteric norms to be granted certain privileges and bask in the sense of belonging. You ought to connect with your inner self and liberate yourself from all bondages created by society. Discovering the “real you” is the gradual but therapeutic process which is going to be worth your time.

 

Who Are You?

There’s no possible way you can be yourself without knowing who you really are. You pretend to idolize football player David Beckham because your neighbor does and you want to gain his approval. Soon enough you will realize that you don’t know what interests you because you’ve been whiling away time with what least interests you. Understand yourself, figure out where your deepest passion lies and be proud of your qualities. Contemplate your life and the choices you’ve made. Take personality tests and you will eventually disentangle the buried mesh of what had been your true interests and hobbies all along! Accept it with pride.

Forget The World

So what if the person besides you passed a nasty comment on your outfit. As long as you’re comfortable, does it really make a difference to your welfare? Or do you hesitate to raise your hand in class to ask the question that’s persistently been pestering you simply because you fear your classmates might find it silly and doubt your intelligence. Why is their opinion even worth it? You should feel stupid for putting their opinions before your clarity on the subject! Forget the world, live your life and be yourself. Happiness will be right behind you.

Breathe & Be Honest

Why do you want to live through the rest of your life safeguarding your sticky web of lies? Life is never rosy for anybody. Maybe at the beginning, you might not be as fortunate as certain other coveted beings. Nevertheless, if you hold your breath and take each day as it comes, life’s delicate balance will soon manifest itself. There is no good reason to be ashamed of who you are. Whether it’s a physical or mental shortcoming, the most trusted way to overcoming it is by acknowledging it with courage. We are all blighted with flaws and by hiding them, we are only adding to that list.

Express Your Individuality

The moment self-confidence is on your side, a beautiful and unique personality will blossom! Standing out isn’t easy but it usually comes from within. It might be a skill, or a manner of speaking or infectious charisma. Build up on a character that singles you out from everybody in your planet. Be yourself. Even oddly colored slippers might accentuate your eccentric character after which you might garner admiration from different sides. Don’t be a prototype, be a proud unique individual.

Believe In Yourself

Take off that hideous mask and unleash the beauty hidden underneath its eternal ugliness! If you try to be what you’re not, you’re going to be unhappy through the remainder of your fake life. Thrive on solitude, engage in soul searching and you will soon be well acquainted with your new best friend- The Real You. Life will soon turn into a elongated party interspersed with memorable episodes of sadness, joy, laughter, bitterness and all the emotions experienced in the life that is worth living.

See, there’s no reason to fear being yourself! We will all be adored for who we really are but it has to start with us accepting ourselves Scopri Power wishes you  Good Luck.

 

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Types Of Handshakes : Check it Out !!

Handshakes form the most important part of greeting a new person. Apart from a form of greeting, a handshake also conveys power, confidence and professionalism. A lot can be judged from a person’s handshakes. Though it is a small gesture, it can actually make or break a relationship from the start. These little gestures provide important clues that can help you to identify the person whom you are communicating with. Often, we fall victim to a bad shake, be it too weak, too strong or poor timed grab. Remember, if you are unable to perform a perfect handshake, it can create some undesirable impressions of you on the other person. Hence, it is very necessary to put the best hand forward, while greeting a person. Read on to get detailed information about the different kinds of handshakes.

Different Types Of Handshakes

In-Control Shake

The in-control handshake is made by a person to convey that he is under your control. He will grab your hand by his right hand and place his left over the shake to form a glove. All that the person wants to convey is that he is trustworthy, but such gestures often end up making you uncomfortable.

Bone-Crushing Shake

A person who makes a hard, stiff shake pretending to break your fingers is conveying that he is stronger than you and wants to control. People who make such a handshake seem to be confident, but have a tinge of aggressiveness in them. While facing such people, smile broadly and offer a firm-handed shake.

Butterfingers Shake

A person making such a shake does not like the gesture and wants to get over it quickly. The person will grip your fingers lightly and let it go instantly, leaving your hand hanging in mid air. This person probably wants to keep you at a distance and avoid any kind of intimacy.

Lifeless Shake

A lifeless shake is a limp shake that is cold enough to keep you wondering what is wrong with the person. The person making such a shake creates a weak impression of himself, thereby indicating that he needs to be left alone. Simply shake a hand with this person and move ahead.

Body-Basher Shake

Beware of a person who performs this handshake as he is up to some tricks. He will make a hard squeeze, pulling your hand towards his personal space. He will then slap your wrist, elbow or shoulder with his left hand with a blow that is sure to keep you shocked. Staying away from such a person is strongly recommended.  

Arrogant Shake

An arrogant shake is made intentionally to demoralize your sense of security. This person will offer a stiff, flat hand with the palm facing down indicating that he is the boss. Since you cannot escape such a handshake, the best would be to offer your hand with your palm facing up.  

Condolence Shake

The person making a condolence handshake will pretend to be too familiar to you by clasping your right hand or arm with an attempt to hug you. Though this behavior can be accepted during a funeral, but it comes out as a condescending and inappropriate act otherwise.

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Tips for Stress Relief

Below are tips for reducing stress and managing the stresses in every day life.

Breathe Deeply - Inhale deeply through your nose. Pull the air all the way down, deep into the lungs. Hold the breath for a count of six. Exhale slowly through the mouth to the count of six. Do this for several minutes. Be careful not to hyperventilate. If dizzy or light-headedness occur, begin breathing naturally.

Express Feelings and Thoughts - Call a friend. Join a group. Join a community on the Internet. If you feel these avenues are not helping talk to your doctor, seek out a counselor. Use all resources after through work, church and community. If seeing a counselor is something you're fearful of, consider getting a pet. Pets listen very well.

Make Time for Relaxation and Fun - Find an activity that makes you feel good. It may be dancing, listening to music, walking along the beach, prayer, hiking in the mountains, working in the garden, taking photographs, watching birds, going to the movies, golfing, swimming, visiting museums. Make a list of activities that give you joy. Break them down into time segments of 2-5 minutes, 5-20 minutes, 30 minutes to ½ day and ½ day or longer. List the activities that give you joy under these time segments. Do at least three of them everyday. Most people think they have to do big things, such as vacations of whole days away from work or home to relieve stress. Not so, small activities that give you joy are the best stress busters.

Exercise - Try something new, like swimming. Begin a walking program. Do some form of exercise that interests you. Make sure to consult your physician beforehand.

Laugh - Laughter is a great way to relieve stress. If you find something funny, have a good belly laugh. Watch funny movies. Read funny stories.

Learn Happy Talk - Humor your stress. Go to www.stressed.com for a class in happy talk.

Get Rid of Negative - Take a hard look at the circle or environment you're standing in. People who are negative and prone to "moods" spread negativity to others. Learn to say no to negativity and remove yourself from it whenever possible.

Write - Write out your complaints or troubles. Writing is no substitute for professional help but it does allow you to vent your feelings and frustrations. By writing with pen in hand or at the keyboard, you may discover an insight or solution to whatever is frustrating or bothering you.

Get A Massage - Make an investment in yourself. Massage therapy can relax muscles, easy muscle spasm, increase blood flow to skin and muscles and relieve mental and emotional stress. A massage will be one of the best investments you've ever made.

Be Realistic in Expectations- Don't expect everyone to be like you or behave to your code of "shoulds and oughts". Don't expect to be right all the time. Don't expect harmony all the time. Real life has conflicts in it. Be willing to confront conflict, state your needs then work at coming to a mutual compromise.

Examine your expectations of yourself - When you can't live up to them, they will cause stress, tension and pressure. Learn to say no when unrealistic demands are placed upon you. Communicate what you can do and what you can't do clearly. Be honest with yourself on the expectations (goals) you place on yourself. Don't let ego and social pressure force you into being/doing something your not.

Monitor Your Communication Skills - Aggressive and hostile communication with others antagonizes and alienates. Assertive training can help you learn to express your needs without offending others or feeling ignored.

You can only change yourself - Work to grasp the full meaning of this statement. Trying to change another person causes stress to both parties. It can ruin relationships, damage relationships and cause others to withdraw from you. If you make statements such as - if only he, if only she, if only they - then you need to look in the mirror and say, what can I change about myself to make the situation better.

Accept - If you can't leave a situation that is causing you extreme stress then accept it as it is. Adjust your approach to it. Look for ways to see positive things. Do not dwell on the negative. Above all, if the situation is abusive, either physically or emotionally (this includes work situations also) seek professional help through counseling.

Stress will not suddenly disappear in modern day life. It will remain even increase. To reduce and manage stress takes a commitment to do so. Make a commitment to practice or do anyone of the following tips and chances are stress relief will begin to fall to a range where it is manageable and causes no long-term damage to health or relationships.

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Tips for Sharp Concentration

Here’s some tips to get into a state of deep concentration where work flows easily:


1) Cut Off the Noise
It may be obvious that distractions aren’t helping your focus, but do you actually cut them out? I’ll admit, it can be tempting to put the e-mail alerts on, turn on the IM and answer every request sent your way. But in the end it is only preventing you from concentrating.
Getting into a state of concentration can take at least fifteen minutes. If you are getting distracted every five, you can’t possibly focus entirely on your work. Answer your e-mails at scheduled times. Request that people don’t interrupt you when working on a big project. If you are required to answer phones and drop-in’s immediately, schedule work when the office is less busy.

2) Structure Your Environment
The place you work can have an impact on your ability to focus. Try to locate yourself so you are facing potential distractions such as doors, phones or windows. This way you can take a glance to assess sounds that would otherwise break your focus.

3) Clarify Objectives
Know what your goal is clearly before you start. If you aren’t sure what the end result is, the confusion will make it impossible to focus. Before I write any articles, I define the main focus of the article and get a brief mental picture of the structure. Unclear objectives often result in having to redo sections of work.

4) Divide Blobs
Big blobs of tasks that have no clear start or end point destroy focus. If you have a large project that needs work, clearly identify a path that you will use to get started working on it. If the sequence of actions isn’t obvious, it will be difficult to concentrate. Taking a few minutes to plan not only your end result, but the order you will complete any steps, can save hours in wasted thinking.

5) Know the Rules
Get clear on what the guidelines are for the task ahead. What level of quality do you need? What standards do you need to follow? What constraints are there? If you are writing a program, get clear on how much commenting you need, what functions you want to use and the flexibility required. If you are writing an article, decide on the length and style.
If the rules aren’t clear from the outset, you will slip out of concentration as you ponder them later.

6) Set a Deadline
Deadlines have both advantages and disadvantages when trying to force concentration. A deadline can make it easier to forget the non-essential and speed up your working time. If you give yourself only an hour to design a logo, you will keep it simple and avoid fiddling with extravagant designs.
Time limits have disadvantages when they cause you to worry about the time you have left instead of the task itself. I recommend using a deadline when:

1. Time is limited. If you only have a day to complete work that could easily take weeks, chunking it into specific deadlines will strip away everything that isn’t crucial.
2. It’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. If your task could easily expand to have new features or ideas, use a deadline to keep it under control.
3. To avoid procrastination. A tight deadline can save you if you are worried about procrastinating.

7) Break Down Roadblocks
Roadblocks occur whenever you hit a tricky problem in your work. This can happen when you run out of ideas or your focus wavers. Break down roadblocks by brainstorming or planning on a piece of paper. Writing out your thought processes can keep you focused even if you might become frustrated.

8 ) Isolate Yourself
Become a hermit and stay away from other people if you want to get work done. Unless your work is based on other people they will only break your focus. Create a private space and refuse to talk to anyone until your work is finished. Put a sign on your door to steer away drop-ins and don’t answer your phone.

9) Healthy Body, Sharper Mind
What you put into your body affects the way you concentrate. Nobody would expect peak performance if they showed up drunk to work. But if you allow yourself to get chronic sleep deprivation, overuse stimulants like caffeine or eat dense, fatty foods your concentration will suffer. Try to cut out one of your unhealthy habits for just thirty days to see if there is a difference in your energy levels. I’ve found even small steps can create dramatic changes in my ability to focus.

10) Be Patient
Before I write an article, I often sit at my desk for a fifteen or twenty minutes before I put finger on the keyboard. During this time I feel a strong urge to leave or do something else. But I know that if I am patient, I’ll stumble upon an idea to write about and enter a state of flow. Without a little patience, you can’t take advantage of flow when it rushed through you.
If you need strong concentration I recommend periods of 90-120 minutes. Any less than that and you will waste too much time getting started before the flow can continue. More than this is possible to sustain focus, but you will probably benefit from a quick break.

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Mindful Meditation

Pain and Mind

The conscious mind develops perception of pain based on experience. This also determines the level of tolerance a person might have when they break their arm or leg. Take a look at any UFC fighter or football player. They constantly get injured but keep playing the game. Kobe Bryant is known for playing basketball through all his injuries. How does he while other players rest?
It’s because he’s constantly been working through the pain. Brock Lesner has taken many punches in UFC but still perseveres through. It’s because his perception of pain is much different from others. I would love to get a little dose of his perception.

Meditation to melt the pain

Researchers examined how 15 volunteers would react to pain by monitoring their brain. The volunteers were prodded with different temperatures. The subjects felt 57% less unpleasant and 40% less intense while meditation.
The volunteers were given 20-minute sessions in mindful meditation. It was a brief form of meditation the researches wanted to test against. The mindful meditation taught shows the subjects how to stay focused on the breath while other things are happening.

The pain points

There are many pain points in our daily lives. It could be stress, family or injuries (emotional or physical). The problem is that these pain points become the center of our universe. The ego thrives off these injuries.
One thing about injuries is that, they always heal. In time everything does. There is no need to focus your entire energy or efforts on pain. Extract away from the pain and focus on the present moment.

Mindful Meditation made easy

It doesn’t have to be difficult. It should be easy and peaceful. Do not set your mind on how long it should be. Start with 5 minutes then move to longer times.

• Sit in a comfortable area.
• Cross your legs and close your eyes.
• Keep your back straight and head erect. You can use a wall for support.
• Inhale deep into your stomach and exhale out through the mouth.
• Hold the inhalation for a count of 3 and exhale.

Thoughts

Thoughts are a part of meditation. Some people get distracted by them and think “Meditation is not working”. Meditation is always working. It is not about neglecting your thoughts but working with them. Do not get attached to them in any way. Just let them be. Like observing a soaring eagle in the sky.
Just observe and let it go.

Techniques for Relaxation

Relaxation techniques are a great way to help with stress management. Relaxation isn't just about peace of mind or enjoying a hobby. Relaxation is a process that decreases the effects of stress on your mind and body. Relaxation techniques can help you cope with everyday stress and with stress related to various health problems, such as cancer and pain.

Whether your stress is spiraling out of control or you've already got it tamed, you can benefit from learning relaxation techniques. Learning basic relaxation techniques is easy. Relaxation techniques also are often free or low cost, pose little risk and can be done just about anywhere. Explore these simple relaxation techniques and get started on de-stressing your life and improving your health.

The benefits of relaxation techniques

When faced with numerous responsibilities and tasks or the demands of an illness, relaxation techniques may take a back seat in your life. But that means you might miss out on the health benefits of relaxation.

Practicing relaxation techniques can reduce stress symptoms by:

• Slowing your heart rate
• Lowering blood pressure
• Slowing your breathing rate
• Increasing blood flow to major muscles
• Reducing muscle tension and chronic pain
• Improving concentration
• Reducing anger and frustration
• Boosting confidence to handle problems

To get the most benefit, use relaxation techniques along with other positive coping methods, such as exercising, getting enough sleep, and reaching out to supportive family and friends.

Types of relaxation techniques

Health professionals such as complementary and alternative medicine practitioners, doctors and psychotherapists can teach various relaxation techniques. But if you prefer, you also can learn some relaxation techniques on your own.

In general, relaxation techniques involve refocusing your attention on something calming and increasing awareness of your body. It doesn't matter which relaxation technique you choose. What matters is that you try to practice relaxation regularly to reap its benefits.

There are several main types of relaxation techniques, including:

• Autogenic relaxation. Autogenic means something that comes from within you. In this relaxation technique, you use both visual imagery and body awareness to reduce stress. You repeat words or suggestions in your mind to relax and reduce muscle tension. For example, you may imagine a peaceful setting and then focus on controlled, relaxing breathing, slowing your heart rate, or feeling different physical sensations, such as relaxing each arm or leg one by one.
• Progressive muscle relaxation. In this relaxation technique, you focus on slowly tensing and then relaxing each muscle group. This helps you focus on the difference between muscle tension and relaxation. You become more aware of physical sensations. One method of progressive muscle relaxation is to start by tensing and relaxing the muscles in your toes and progressively working your way up to your neck and head. You can also start with your head and neck and work down to your toes. Tense your muscles for at least five seconds and then relax for 30 seconds, and repeat.
• Visualization. In this relaxation technique, you form mental images to take a visual journey to a peaceful, calming place or situation. During visualization, try to use as many senses as you can, including smell, sight, sound and touch. If you imagine relaxing at the ocean, for instance, think about such things as the smell of salt water, the sound of crashing waves and the warmth of the sun on your body. You may want to close your eyes, sit in a quiet spot and loosen any tight clothing.

Other common relaxation techniques include:

• Hypnosis
• Massage
• Meditation
• Tai chi
• Yoga

Relaxation techniques take practice

As you learn relaxation techniques, you'll become more aware of muscle tension and other physical sensations of stress. Once you know what the stress response feels like, you can make a conscious effort to practice a relaxation technique the moment you start to feel stress symptoms. This can prevent stress from spiraling out of control.

Remember that relaxation techniques are skills. And as with any skill, your ability to relax improves with practice. Be patient with yourself — don't let your effort to practice relaxation techniques become yet another stressor. If one relaxation technique doesn't work for you, try another. If none of your efforts at stress reduction seem to work, talk to your doctor about other options.

Also, bear in mind that some people, especially those with serious psychological issues and a history of abuse, may experience feelings of emotional discomfort during some relaxation techniques. Although this is rare, if you experience emotional discomfort during relaxation techniques, stop what you're doing and consider talking to your health care professional or mental health provider.